Friendly Educational Adventures
by NICE SAWA
Summary: Kano and Mihashi host an educational children's TV show.
1. Mihashi and Abe

**RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES**

**Episode one: Mihashi and Abe**

Our story begins as a little SD version of Kano skipped through a field of flowers until he reached a house that was made out of a gigantic mushroom. He went up to the door and knocked.

"Oh, it's Shu-chan!" An SD version of Mrs. Mihashi greeted him. "How are you today?"

"How nice of you to ask!" said Shu-chan. "I'm feeling wonderful, how about you?"

"Me too!" Mrs. Mihashi said happily. "How nice of YOU to ask!"

"How nice of you to think so!" said Shu-chan. "Say, is Renren home?"

"He sure is!" Mrs. Mihashi beamed. "OH RENREN! SHU-CHAN'S HERE!!"

Mrs. Mihashi left the scene just as an SD version of Mihashi entered. Just so you know, everyone in this story is going to be all SD-like so from now on I'm not going to write it so just ASSUME it, okay?

"Shu-chan!" Mihashi said as his eyes got all big and wobbly. "You're here!"

"I sure am, Renren!" said Shu-chan, giving Renren the thumbs up. "Now why did you call me?"

"Oh, it's just… I needed someone to talk to," said Renren as he shivered slightly.

"That's a very good idea, Renren!" Shu-chan approved. "Whenever you're feeling sad, don't let your emotions bottle up because that can be very bad for you!"

"Thank you for the advice, Shu-chan!" said Renren as he lit up.

"No problem, Renren!" said Shu-chan. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, it's just… Abe…" Renren sniffed. "He yelled at me again!"

Shu-chan gasped. "That's so mean of him! You know what we should do?"

Renren thought for a second. "…Talk to him?"

"That's right!" said Shu-chan. "Whenever someone gets angry with you, it's important to talk to the person about it in order to solve your problems!"

"You're right, Shu-chan!" said Renren. "Now let's go!"

Renren and Shu-chan joined hands and proceeded to skip off to the Abe residence that just so happened to be made out of a big catcher helmet.

"DING DONG!" said the doorbell as Renren and Shu-chan pushed it together. Mrs. Abe opened.

"WELL IF IT ISN'T RENREN AND SHU-CHAN!!!" she yelled happily. "What can I do for you?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Abe!" Shu-chan and Renren sang in unison. "May we speak to… Takaya?"

"Of course, darlings!" said Mrs. Abe as she ran off to find her son. Moments later, ABE appeared in the doorway, wearing an overly exaggerated frown and equally exaggerated angry eyebrows.

"Oh, Shu-chan and Renren," he said in an extremely low grouchy voice. Renren immediately hid behind Shu-chan.

"Good morning, Abe!" said Shu-chan, beaming like the sun itself. He then got a very serious look on his face. "Have you been yelling at Renren, young man?"

"Why YES, I HAVE," said Abe, shaking his fists.

"May I ask why?" Shu-chan asked.

"No," said Abe.

"Oh…" said Shu-chan. He thought for a second. "Well… I'm going to anyway! Even if it's rude to do something when someone tells you not to, this case is an exception because we're here to solve a problem!" He paused. "Why did you yell at Renren?"

"It all began this morning at baseball practice," said Abe, looking like he prepared himself for a LONG boring story. "We were playing baseball, and Renren was acting like a dweeb."

"Oh," said Shu-chan. "Is that it?"

Abe thought for a second. "…Yes."

"That is not a very good reason to yell at him," said Shu-chan, shaking his head in disappointment. "I think you should apologize right now."

"Well _I_ think you should leave me alone!" said Abe as he slammed the door shut.

Shu-chan and Renren blinked and stared at the door for a few seconds. "Well, that didn't go exactly as planned," said Shu-chan, rubbing his chin.

"Shu-chan, I… I…" Renren stuttered.

"What is it, Renren?" Shu-chan gasped.

"I… have a confession to make!" Renren said dramatically. "Abe… he… actually, he had a good reason to yell at me!"

"People NEVER have good reasons to yell!" Shuu-chan declared nobly.

"Actually… I… think he got mad because I… well, I… I was acting like a dweeb even though I had no reason to because the only people present were on my own team," Renren explained. "He probably thought… I didn't trust them!"

Shu-chan gasped again. "Well that IS serious! It is VERY important to trust your friends and teammates!"

"I know!" Renren wailed. "I'm so sorry!"

"Maybe you should tell Abe that's how you really feel," Shu-chan suggested.

"I'm too scared to talk to him!" Renren cried. "I want to give him a present instead!"

Shu-chan looked thoughtful. "All right. That might be okay too, since after all, we're all different, meaning that we all have different ways to express ourselves!"

"Oh Shu-chan, you are so smart!" Renren marveled.

"So are you, Renren!" Shu-chan marveled right back.

So they joined hands again and skipped off to the sports equipments store that just so happened to be located in a large hollow baseball. They bought the loveliest catcher helmet they could find before skipping back to Abe's house.

"DING DONG!" said the doorbell BEFORE they even managed to push it.

"WHAT," said Abe, revealing his extremely angry face.

"Abe, Renren wishes to make up with you!" Shu-chan informed him, stepping aside to reveal Renren standing there, holding the lovely catcher helmet.

"That's quite a lovely catcher helmet, but you can't BUY forgiveness!" Abe said gruffly as he slammed the door shut once more.

"Now he's just being difficult," said Shu-chan, putting his hands on his hips.

"No, I think I get it now!" said Renren, looking extremely enlightened. "You really CAN'T buy forgiveness and friendship!"

"Of course," said Shu-chan, slapping his forehead. "Why didn't we think of that BEFORE? Do you think you're ready to apologize for real?"

Renren gulped. "I… I'm ready!"

"DING DONG!" yelled the doorbell. Abe tore the door open a second later.

"ABE!" Renren yelled. "I'm sorry for not trusting the team!"

Abe's face IMMEDIATELY softened, and his voice got back to normal. "Oh Renren!" he exclaimed. "I knew it all along! I forgive you, and also, I'm sorry for yelling at you!"

"I forgive you too, Abe!" said Renren as the two of them leapt into each other's arms and hugged as flowers and hearts and rainbows sailed by in the background.

The scene faded out and then in again, revealing Renren and Shu-chan sitting on the couch inside the official _Renren and Shu-chan's Friendly Educational Adventures_ clubhouse, located in a big hollow pumpkin in an old oak tree.

"Well, Renren, why did we learn today?" Shu-chan asked.

"We learned a lot of things!" Renren said happily. "One, yelling is bad, no matter the circumstances! Two, always trust your friends! Three, you can't BUY friendship!"

"That's right!" said Shu-chan, giving Renren the thumbs up. "Until next time!" Shu-chan and Renren waved to the audience as the scene faded out and the credits started rolling.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

Everyone was back in their normal non-SD sizes.

"Wow, I can't believe we… we learned… THREE things in our… FIRST episode!" Mihashi exclaimed giddily.

"We had to get our show started off with an amazing first episode, I guess," said Kano, looking pleased.

"Why did I have to be the bad guy?" Abe complained. "Now all the kids watching will hate me."

"Do you even care?" Kano asked.

Abe paused. "No… not really."

Suddenly, Tajima came running in. "YOU GUUUYYYYYS!! MAIL'S HERE!!"

"Fanmail!" Mihashi squealed, excitedly flipping through the pile of letters. "That was… fast!"

Kano quickly read through a letter. "You know… this just might give me inspiration for our NEXT episode! Come on, gang!"

AND SO, everyone present ran off to get ready for the NEXT exciting episode. The end for REAL!


	2. Toshihiko

**RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES**

**Episode two: Toshihiko**

Today's episode begins where last episode left off; Shu-chan and Renren were sitting around in their cozy clubhouse couch. Between them, however, was a tall pile of letters.

Renren took a deep breath. "W-Welcome back to… Shu-chan and Renren's… Friendly Educational Adventures!"

"As you can see, we've gotten a lot of friendly and encouraging letters from fans of our humble show!" said Shu-chan proudly, patting the pile of letters.

"Open one, Shu-chan!" said Renren excitedly.

"Will do, Renren!" said Shu-chan. It was obvious that the whole thing was planned since all the letters were opened and he picked the one on top of the whole pile. "This one looks promising!"

"What's it say?" Renren gasped.

"Dear Renren and Shu-chan, I love your show," Kano read. He looked up and smiled at the camera. "Why thank you! I'm sure our show loves you too!" He continued reading. "I have a problem that needs solving. You see, I just so happen to have frighteningly large lips, and my teammates like to make fun of me for it."

Renren gasped again. "No way!"

Shu-chan sighed. "Bullies. They never realize that everyone is perfect just the way they are." He paused, then continued reading. "I'm thinking maybe I should make fun of them back because roughly half of the people on my team have really big noses, unless you guys have a better idea? Please, Renren and Shu-chan! I need you! Love, Toshihiko Maekawa, Tosei."

Shu-chan and Renren gasped in unison.

"No, that is… NOT how you're supposed to… solve this!" Renren said.

"That's right!" Shu-chan declared. "Come, Renren! We must pay Toshihiko a visit and help him solve his problem correctly before something terrifying happens!"

"OKAY, SHU-CHAN!" yelled Renren.

So Renren and Shu-chan ran off AS FAST AS THEY COULD over to the Maekawa residence before a horrible accident happened! They knocked on the door, and Toshihiko himself opened.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Renren and Shu-chan yelled upon seeing his horrible lips. "Oh, um… You must be Toshihiko! It's so nice to meet you!"

"Could it be?" Toshihiko gasped. "Renren and Shu-chan?"

"That's us, all right!" said Shu-chan proudly as he high-fived Renren and shooting stars shot by in the background. "You needed our assistance?"

"Not needed, NEED!" said Toshihiko, wiping a tear away from the corner of his eye. "You read my letter, didn't you? Because I don't really feel like repeating myself…"

"We read it out loud and clear," said Shu-chan, patting Toshihiko's back and offering him a handkerchief.

"Thanks," said Toshihiko, violently blowing his nose. He tried to hand the handkerchief back to Shu-chan, but naturally, he refused.

"You can keep it!" he said nobly.

"So, your… team!" Renren tried to change the subject. "Tosei! When my team… played against you, you all seemed like… NICE PEOPLE!"

"Yeah, I guess we are pretty nice," said Toshihiko. "But not nice enough, apparently!"

"Do you have a picture of your team?" Shu-chan inquired. "I don't really know anything about them, and I'm sure our viewers would love to see them!"

"I sure do," said Toshihiko as he pulled out a large Tosei group picture from his pocket, shoving it up to the camera, giving the viewers a good look at it for a few seconds before Shu-chan snatched it.

"Wow… a lot of your teammates really DO have big noses! Not that it matters or anything, of course!" he quickly added.

"Yes!" Renren agreed. "If we all looked the same, the world would be so boring!"

"Does that mean my hideous lips are okay too…?" Toshihiko asked.

"IT DOES!" Shu-chan and Renren yelled in unison.

"Wow, I feel so much better now!" Toshihiko sparkled. "I'm not sure it's going to stop my teammates from making fun of me, though…"

"It WILL!" said Shu-chan in a determined fashion. "We'll make sure of it! Why don't we pay your whole team a visit right now?"

Toshihiko looked very nervous at first, but a few friendly pats on the back from Shu-chan and Renren lifted his spirits. "Yes, let's do it!"

And so, all three of them joined hands and skipped off to the Tosei clubhouse, where all the Tosei players conveniently enough just so happened to be currently hanging out.

"You're late, Toshihiko!" yelled Keisuke. "Did you trip and fall and puncture your enormous lips or what?"

"HA HA HA HA HA!!" laughed Tosei.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" yelled Renren and Shu-chan as they jumped out between Toshihiko and the rest of Tosei.

"It's Nishiura's pitcher!" gasped Kazuki. "And… some other guy!"

"It's Shu-chan and Renren!" Junta exclaimed. "I watch their show all the time, even though this is only the second episode!"

"Really, Junta?" said Kazuki. "We must watch it together sometime!"

"Yes, we must!" Junta agreed. "And you must join us, Rio!"

"You guys… shut up," Rio whined.

"So what brings you here anyway, Renren and Shu-chan?" asked Jin excitedly.

"We're here to discuss a little miscommunication you've apparently had with Toshihiko here!" said Shu-chan as he and Renren went over and stood on either side of Toshihiko, placing their hands on his shoulders supportively.

"What miscommunication?" asked everyone on Tosei in unison.

Renren pointed accusingly at them. "We hear you've been… making fun of his… lips!"

"Oh, that," chuckled Tosei.

"This is not a laughing matter!" said Shu-chan seriously, which immediately shut Tosei up.

"I think it's pretty funny," said Keisuke. "I mean, look at him!"

"No, look at YOURSELVES!" Shu-chan nearly yelled. He pointed dramatically at everyone on Tosei whose noses were bigger than average. Said people just so happened to be standing next to each other for some reason or another.

"Yeah?" said Jin. "None of us have big stupid lips."

"That's because we're all different!" said Shu-chan nobly. "While some people's lips are bigger than average, other people have really big noses."

The big-nosed people looked at each other uneasily.

"Your point is…?" Shingo led.

"You all cry yourselves to sleep every night, don't you?" Shu-chan looked them all in the eye. "You're all horribly insecure and take it out on poor defenseless Toshihiko, DON'T YOU!?!?"

EVERYONE on Tosei, not just the big-nosed players, looked at each other, then fell down on their knees and started sobbing all at the same time. "IT'S TRUE!!!" they wailed. "WE ARE SO INSECURE!!!"

"There, there!" said Renren as he and Shu-chan went over to them and patted them all on the back. "Everything is going to be okay now!"

"Really?" sniffed Tosei.

"Do you realize what you've been doing is wrong?" Shu-chan asked.

"YES!" Tosei yelled. "We're all special in our own special ways! We'll never make fun of Toshihiko again!"

"OH YOU GUYS!" Toshihiko yelled, running over to his teammates. They all proceeded to share an enormous group hug.

Shu-chan turned to Renren. "I think our work here is done."

The scene faded out and then in again, revealing Shu-chan and Renren sitting around back in the clubhouse.

"Wow!" Renren exclaimed. "It feels really good to know we helped a whole team out today!"

"That's right!" Shu-chan nodded. "More importantly, what did we all learn?"

"That we're all beautiful no matter what!" said Renren, holding a hand over his heart.

"UNTIL NEXT TIME!!" Renren and Shu-chan bellowed. The scene faded out and the credits rolled.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

"Good job… everyone!" yelled Mihashi.

"I'm not sure if I liked this episode," said Kazuki sadly. "I mean… it made our lovable team look completely broken!"

"Just keep telling yourself, it's only a TV show," said Junta, patting his best friend's back.

"Do you guys really think my lips look big, though?" Toshihiko asked.

"Um… did any new letters arrive yet?" asked Tosei in unison, trying to change the subject.

"UH HUH!" yelled Tajima as he came running in right there with a wheelbarrow full of letters in front of him.

"Neat!" said Kano. "Come on, Ren! Let's go read them and prepare ourselves for our NEXT episode!"

"OKAY!" said Mihashi as everyone ran off. The end for real!


	3. Anonymous

**RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES**

**Episode three: Anonymous**

"Welcome back to Renren and Shu-chan's Friendly Educational Adventures!" Shu-chan greeted the viewers back home. He and Renren once again found themselves sitting around in their amazing clubhouse.

"What are your plans for today's episode, Shu-chan?" Renren asked giddily.

"Hmm… why don't YOU decide, Renren?" said Shu-chan.

"THANK YOU, SHU-CHAN!" yelled Renren, standing straight up and then sitting back down again. He pulled a letter out from his pocket. "I was reading some of our new fanmail, and this particular letter… it broke my heart!"

"Really?!" Shu-chan gasped. "Exactly how heartbreaking is it? Is it safe for the viewers at home?"

"I don't know, Shu-chan," said Renren, his voice shaking slightly. He buried his head in his hands. "I just don't know!"

"Let me see," said Shu-chan seriously. Renren nodded without looking up, giving him the letter with a shaky hand. Shu-chan read through it at the speed of light. "Wow, this IS serious! But I think reading it should be just fine. It could be very educational!"

"C-can you r-r-read it, Shu-chan?" asked Renren. "I'm too… shaken up right now!"

"Of course, Renren," said Shu-chan, patting Renren's back. He took a deep breath and started reading out loud: "Dear Renren and Shu-chan, your show amazes me so! Seeing you help out people who need it warms my heart and brings a little bit of hope to my empty soul – maybe, just maybe, you'll hear my plea and come to my aid."

Shu-chan paused to take another dramatic deep breath, then continued. "I don't have MUCH hope though, seeing how my whole life has been incredibly miserable. Ever since I started playing baseball, my team has for some reason hated my guts. All my teammates enjoy to throw baseballs in my face with all their might, and the guy I'm in a battery with even invited everyone to his birthday party EXCEPT me!"

Shu-chan paused AGAIN, this time to wipe a tear from RENREN'S eye since he himself is way too manly to cry after all. Continuing: "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take this. If you can find it in your hearts and busy schedules, please come see me. Love, Anonymous. PS, I've included a map so you know where to reach me because I can't give my name out in public for reasons too horrible to mention."

"…WOW," said Renren and Shu-chan in unison.

"I somehow feel his pain… slightly…" Renren whimpered. "This letter kind of… brought back some bad memories."

"It's all right, Renren!" Shu-chan gave his friend a supporting hug. "We'll help this poor soul and put an end to bullying once and for all!"

"YES!" Renren yelled, standing straight up. "To the… to the Renren and Shu-chan mobile!"

Instead of boarding the mysterious vehicle that may or may not even exist, Renren and Shu-chan skipped off instead. Following the map, they reached their destination quickly.

"Should I knock… or you?" Renren asked hesitantly.

"Let's knock together," said Shu-chan. They knocked together. A second later, the door opened, only to reveal the one and only…

"HARUNA?!" Renren gasped, getting that weird diamond-shaped mouth.

"Wait… you know this guy?" Shu-chan asked, scratching his head.

That's when the scene switched to SAKAEGUCHI sitting on an office desk like that guy in Freakazoid who explains people's backstories. He proceeded to tell the audience all about Haruna and Abe's dramatic past together, which will not be written because the people who read this most likely know who Haruna is.

"And now you knoooowww the rest of the backstory!" concluded Sakaeguchi. "Good day?"

The scene instantly switched back to Renren and Shu-chan who were still staring at Haruna who just stood there in the door opening grinning. Renren was hiding BEHIND Shu-chan since the mere presence of the amazing Haruna amazed and unnerved him so very much.

"Wait…" said Shu-chan, raising an eyebrow. "Sure, that was quite the dramatic backstory, but it seems to me like your current team likes you!"

"Yep!" said Haruna.

"Did you really write this letter?" Shu-chan asked, holding said letter out in front of him.

"I sure did!" said Haruna as if no explanations were necessary.

Shu-chan, however, would have none of it. "This calls for an explanation! If you're on such a friendly and loving team, why would you write THIS?!"

"Well, I just so happen to like your show," said Haruna. "I wanted to be in an episode, so I made up a ridiculous story so you'd come visit me without a doubt!"

"That is the most despicable thing I have EVER HEARD!!" Shu-chan yelled. Then he gasped and slapped his mouth. "I mean… sure, it's despicable. What caused you to do it? You must be a sad and lonely individual craving attention and friends!"

"No, not really," Haruna shrugged. "I just wanted a chance to be on TV. Hi, mom!"

Everyone present could tell Shu-chan was positively explode-ready, but he forced himself to calm down for the sake of the children watching. "Well, this… certainly changes a lot…"

Renren decided to grab the opportunity and faced the camera. "Hey… hey kids! As you can see, the letter we received was all… a big… lie!"

"Yes!" said Shu-chan, joining Renren in the facing of the camera. "And as we all know, lying is BAD!"

"NOT REALLY!" Haruna yelled happily as he shoved Renren and Shu-chan out of the way to hog the camera. "It worked for me!"

"But with CONSEQUENCES!" Shu-chan yelled, shoving Haruna out of the way right back. "Let's just have a look at what other people have to say about Haruna!"

The scene changed to Abe standing around with his angry face. "Haruna is a stupid despicable selfish JERK and I NEVER want to play baseball with him EVER AGAIN!!"

The scene changed back to Shu-chan and Renren. "See?" said Shu-chan proudly. "If you lie, people will dislike you, exclude you, talk about you behind your back, and worst of all, refuse to play baseball with you!"

"So whatever you do… don't lie!" Renren piped up.

"Hey, I've got LOTS of people who want to play base—" Haruna began, but he was cut off by the scene fading out and then in again to reveal Renren and Shu-chan back in their clubhouse.

"Well, today's episode certainly got an unexpected twist," Shu-chan gave a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that's over with and that it all worked out in the end!"

"I agree with that!" Renren agreed. "I think we've already clarified what we learned today, but should we repeat it?"

"It never hurts to repeat morals!" said Shu-chan. "All right, today's lesson! Don't lie to gain attention because people will dislike you!"

"UNTIL NEXT TIME!" both the show hosts yelled. The scene faded out, and the credits rolled.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

"THANKS A LOT FOR RUINING TODAY'S EPISODE!!!" Kano bellowed as he got ready to pummel Haruna, but various people from Nishiura held him back since they don't like violence.

"No problem!" said Haruna, giving Kano the thumbs up. "I bet your show's ratings will go way up because I was nice enough to show my beautiful face!"

"Wait, so you don't plan the episodes beforehand?" Sakaeguchi scratched his head.

"Sometimes… we do…" said Mihashi.

"HARUNAAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!" Abe yelled as he stomped in. "HOW DARE YOU RUIN MIHASHI'S SHOW!! YOU AND ME! RIGHT HERE! IT'S ON!!"

"Hey, it's KANO'S show too!" Hatake yelled as he too barged in.

"Hey, I wanted to pummel him FIRST!" Kano intervened, ignoring Hatake.

"Hey, isn't this show all about friendship and love and working together?" said Tajima as he came running in carrying today's mail. "Why don't you beat him up TOGETHER?" Hanai ran up and smacked him.

Abe and Kano looked at each other and shrugged, then turned back to Haruna… only to see that he wasn't there!

"GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!!" yelled Abe and Kano in unison as they ran off in a random direction to begin their search. Everyone else present decided it would be a good idea to follow them so no unnecessary fights would break out.

The end FOR REAL!


	4. Daichi

_Note: There is no episode four! I started writing it ages ago, but I never managed to think of an ending._

**RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES**

**Episode five: Daichi**

"WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER THRILLING EPISODE OF RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES!!!" Renren and Shu-chan bellowed at the camera. They then cleared their throats and adjusted their collars. They were once again sitting in the couch in their clubhouse, by the way.

"Today we're going to do something VERY special!" said Shu-chan enthusiastically. "Renren?"

"That's right, Shu-chan!" said Renren. He dove behind the couch and rummaged around for a little while, before emerging with a phone. It was made to look like a pretty rainbow standing around on a cloud, the receiver being the rainbow. "Presenting the… Renren and Shu-chan… PHONE!"

"You know what this means, don't you, kids!" said Shu-chan. "From now on, not only can you send us letters, but you can CALL us as well! To do so, simply grab your phone and dial THIS number!"

A phone number started flashing on the screen. About five seconds later, the phone started bouncing all crazy-like while emitting the Renren and Shu-chan theme song.

"Our first caller!" Renren exclaimed excitedly.

"I'll get it!" said Shu-chan nobly, knowing about Renren's tendency to stutter around like a Stuttering Bill. He picked up the receiver. "Yes, you've reached Renren and Shu-chan!"

"KANO!!!" sounded the desperate voice of Hatake. "I just wanted to let you know that I… I…"

"Dang it Hatake, what did I tell you about calling unless you have something to contribute to our show?!" Shu-chan yelled angrily into the receiver. He paused for a second. "I mean… this phone line is reserved for children with problems that need to be solved, not for regular chit-chat, got it?" Without waiting for an answer, Shu-chan slammed the phone back down. A second later, it started ringing again.

Seeing how worked up Shu-chan looked, Renren hesitantly picked the phone back up. "Um… Renren and… Shu-chan speaking! How may we—"

"MY HEART IS DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!" the person on the other end screamed so loudly that the whole clubhouse shook and some framed pictures on the walls fell to the floor and shattered.

"Uh, what exactly do you—" Renren tried, but the person interrupted him again.

"I'M A LOWLY DESPICABLE SELFISH HUMAN BEING WHO CAN'T EVEN LET THE PEOPLE HE'S TALKING TO ON THE PHONE TALK WITHOUT INTERRUPTING THEM!!!" the person cried. "I DON'T WANT MY HEART TO BE DIRTY ANYMORE!! HELP ME, RENREN AND SHU-CHAN!!!"

Shu-chan leaned over to Renren to speak into the phone. "Look, if you can just tell us your name and the team you play for, we can pay you a visit right away."

"Really?" sniffed the person. Sounds of a nose being blown were heard. "My name is Daichi Sakura and I'm from Sakitama."

Renren whipped out the baseball player phonebook and started searching through it for Daichi's address. "Found it!"

"Stay with us, Daichi, we'll be right there," said Shu-chan dramatically.

"Y… Yes," said Daichi.

Shu-chan hung up and clenched his fists. "Wow, this must be some kind of emergency! This sounds like a job for…"

"RENREN AND SHU-CHAN!!" Renren and Shu-chan yelled in unison as they struck a heroic pose. The screen faded out, and when it faded in again, they were just about to arrive at Daichi's place. Which was shaped like a giant heart.

Having seen them arrive, Daichi quickly barged out of his humble home to greet them. Even as an SD character, he was freakishly tall. "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING!!" he bellowed in their faces. Since Daichi is so freakishly strong, Renren and Shu-chan had to grab on to some nearby trees in order to not be blown away by his voice alone. "I'M NOT WORTHY!!!"

"Everyone is… worthy!" Renren carefully walked over and patted Daichi's back.

"We're here for you, Daichi," said Shu-chan, joining in on the patting. "Now what did you say your problem was?"

"It's my heart," said Daichi dramatically, holding his hand over his heart. "It's dirty. I wish to cleanse it."

Renren and Shu-chan winced and looked at each other.

"Do you mean metaphorically or… literally?" Shu-chan tried.

"Um, I didn't really stop to think about that," said Daichi. He shrugged. "Both, I guess."

"Either way, I'm sure we can fix it!" said Shu-chan. "Renren?"

"Got it!" said Renren. He went off screen for a few seconds, then returned with a big honkin' first aid kit. "Kids, don't… try this at… home!"

"That's right," Shu-chan agreed seriously as he and Renren started putting on surgical masks and gloves. "This is only for professionals!"

Renren walked up to the camera and pulled a curtain in front of it. Everyone's silhouettes could still be seen through it.

"Now, if you could lie down on this bench…" The silhouette of Shu-chan gestured towards the silhouette of a bench.

"YES!" The silhouette of Daichi lay down on the bench with such force that it broke.

"Um…" said Renren and Shu-chan.

"AAAHHHHHH!!!" Daichi screamed. "I'M SO SORRY!! WHY CAN'T I BE MORE CAREFUL?! I'M JUST A BIG STUPID—"

"IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY!!" Shu-chan tried to yell over Daichi's voice. He kicked the broken bench off screen and pulled out a new one.

Daichi sniffed. "Really?"

"Uh huh!" said Renren. "After all, it was an… accident!"

"Sure, now please lie down on THIS bench instead!" said Shu-chan.

"I'll try…" said Daichi as he placed himself on top of the bench ever so carefully.

"Renren, can you hand me the tools, please?" Shu-chan asked.

"I'd love to, Shu-chan!" The silhouette of Renren rummaged through the silhouette of a first-aid kit, pulling out the silhouette of a giant saw and a mallet and a needle and some thread. He handed everything to Shu-chan.

"Thank you!" Shu-chan then turned to Daichi. "I'm going to have to anesthetize you first, is that okay?"

"I'M READY FOR IT, SHU-CHAN!" Daichi bellowed.

"Good!" said Shu-chan as he grabbed the gigantic mallet and bonked Daichi on the head with it so that the entire screen shook.

"Now we have to… locate his heart!" Renren piped up.

"It should be riiight… here," Shu-chan said, his silhouette being shown poking Daichi with the saw. It was THEN shown cutting into Daichi as the sound effects of wood being sawed into were heard in the background. Eventually, Shu-chan stopped and stuck his hand into Daichi's chest. He rummaged around for a few seconds with some disgusting sound effects before he triumphantly pulled out something that was shaped like a heart, and by that I mean the retarded heart shape people draw, and not the ORGANIC heart shape.

"Way to go, Shu-chan!" Renren cheered.

"Now to cleanse it!" Shu-chan declared. He and Renren shoved Daichi off screen and replaced him with a tub and a brush and a bunch of soap and stuff like that. They proceeded to effectively cleanse Daichi's heart.

"It looks so beautiful!" Renren marveled at the finished result that the audience unfortunately didn't get to see because of the curtains.

"Indeed!" Shu-chan agreed. "Now to put it back in!" He kicked the cleansing materials off screen, and pulled Daichi back in. He proceeded to stuff the heart back into Daichi, then using the needle and thread to stitch him back up.

The screen faded out, and when it faded back in, Renren, Shu-chan and Daichi were standing there in front of the curtains as their regular SD-like selves and not just their silhouettes.

"Wow! I feel so cleansed!" Daichi piped.

"All in a day's work for Renren and Shu-chan!" said Shu-chan, slapping Daichi's back.

"Can you cleanse my room while you're at it?" Daichi asked.

"No!" said Renren and Shu-chan in unison.

All three of them enjoyed a dorky good laugh as the screen faded out again.

When it faded back in, Renren and Shu-chan were back in their clubhouse!

"So, did we actually learn any heartwarming morals in this episode…?" Shu-chan rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Um… leave operations to professionals?" Renren tried. "Your heart can get cleansed if you believe in yourself?"

"Something like that!" Shu-chan concluded. "All right, until next time! Same Renren and Shu-chan time, same Renren and Shu-chan channel!"

The screen faded out and the credits started rolling.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

"DAICHI!" Oyama bellowed as he came running over to the stars of today's episode. "Did they really…"

"Oh! No, Tai-san!" Daichi laughed merrily. "It only seemed that way because of the special effects!"

"Want to… see?" Mihashi spoke up.

"That would be swell!" said Oyama. Mihashi, Kano and Daichi led him over to the curtains where he got to take a look behind them.

"OH!" Oyama laughed, looking at all the cardboard cutout tools and cardboard cutout heart. "Oh those shadows can be so tricky! Well I for one sure was fooled, great show, Renren and Shu-chan!"

"As you can see, we're back in our burly non-SD forms now, so our REAL names would do," Kano said with a quick clearing of the throat.

"But where's the fun in THAT?" Oyama slapped Kano and Mihashi's backs.

"WE HAVE THE BEST IDEA FOR A NEW EPISODE EVER!!!" yelled Ichihara and Sawamura as they came running over.

The end FOR REAL!


	5. Sponsor

**RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES**

**Episode six: Sponsor**

"Oh Shu-chan, I am… so excited for this… announcement!" Renren squealed right after the Renren and Shu-chan theme song ended and the new episode started.

"So am I, Renren!" said Shu-chan. The two of them turned around and smiled at the camera. "Hello, viewers! Today, Renren and I have a VERY exciting announcement to make!"

"You may have noticed something a little… DIFFERENT about our… clubhouse today!" said Renren. The camera zoomed out to show more of the clubhouse's insides, only to reveal several dozens of bottles, cans and cartons strewn across the little building.

"Our humble show is from now on sponsored by NICE SAWA!" Shu-chan declared. He picked up a random bottle, and the camera zoomed in on it. The logo featured Sawamura from Sakitama giving the thumbs up, and the title 'NICE SAWAA' in katakana letters next to him.

That's when the Renren and Shu-chan phone started ringing!

Renren picked up the receiver. "NICE SAWA IS A GOOD DRINK!!!" he screamed into it. "Uh, ah, you have reached… Shu-chan and… Renren!"

"OH MY GAWRSH RENREN AND SHU-CHAN I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVER!!!" Abe's little brother screamed right back from the other end. "Ooh, ooh, I'm Abe's little brother, by the way! You can call me Shun-chan! My name is almost the same as Shu-chan's! HEE HEE HEE!!!"

"Abe's… little… brother!" Mihashi piped, holding the phone away from him a little as he got the diamond mouth and stuff.

"Allow me," said Shu-chan, taking the phone. "Hello, Abe's little brother!"

"OH MY GAWRSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET A CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH BOTH RENREN _AND_ SHU-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!" Shun-chan yelled at the top of his voice with all his might.

"Oh, but the pleasure is ours!" said Shu-chan. "By the way, have YOU tried NICE SAWA yet?"

"No, but you betcha I will!!" said Shun-chan excitedly.

"You better!" said Shu-chan. "So what can we help you with?"

"I uh ah… I sort of broke my brother's favorite catcher's helmet!" Shun-chan said. "AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I SWEAR!! I DIDN'T DO IT JUST SO I'D GET A PROBLEM THAT NEEDED SOLVING AND THUS AN EXCUSE TO CONTACT YOU, NO, NOT AT ALL!!!"

"Um… right!" said Shu-chan. "We'll be right there to help you solve your problem!"

"I'LL BE WAITING!!!" Shun-chan screamed.

Renren raised a finger. "T-T-To the Abe Residence!"

The screen faded out and then back in again to reveal Abe Jr. excitedly greeting Renren and Shu-chan as they arrived on the scene. He was so excited that he was jumping up and down and saying "Oh my gosh!" repeatedly.

"Hello, I believe you must be Shun-chan!" said Shu-chan, patting Shun-chan on the head.

"OH MY GOSH SHU-CHAN TOUCHED ME!!!" Shun-chan bellowed while folding his hands and holding them against his cheek as dozens of little cartoon hearts started swirling around his head.

"He sure is different from his brother…" Shu-chan said, a little taken aback. "Say, may I offer you a NICE SAWA?" He held out a bottle of said drink for Shun-chan to take.

"THANK YOU!!" yelled Shun-chan, happily accepting the bottle and practically swallowing it whole. "WOW!!! THIS IS THE BEST DRINK I HAVE EVER TASTED!!!"

"So… let's get to the… problem solving!" Renren piped, clenching his fists.

"Oh right!" said Shun-chan, snapping out of his little trance. "Follow me!" He waltzed into the house with Renren and Shu-chan following right behind him. They entered the living room where Abe's favorite catcher's helmet was lying around in pieces in a puddle of glue.

"Um… wow," said Shu-chan.

"I tried to glue it back together, but I think it only made things worse," said Shun-chan, tilting his head and rubbing his chin.

"Well, Shun-chan, even if it had worked, it would still have been very dangerous for your brother to play baseball with a glued together helmet," said Shu-chan, kneeling down next to Shun-chan, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh my goodness gracious, what have I done?!" Shun-chan gasped dramatically.

"You do know what the right thing… would be to do… right?" Renren tried.

"Yes…" Shun-chan hung his head low for a second, then snapped out of it. "I must make a public apology to my beloved brother and buy him a new helmet!!"

"Wow, this kid is smart," said Shu-chan.

"I watch your show every day, that's why!" Shun-chan beamed.

That's when ABE stomped into the room!! He was wearing the same overly exaggerated angry expression as in the pilot episode. "SHUN-CHAN!!" he bellowed. "HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING WITH MY PROTECTIVE GEAR AGAIN?!"

"AHH!" Shun-chan jumped. "NO! I MEAN YES! I MEAN… I'M SORRY!! I FEEL SO ROTTEN!!"

Shu-chan got between Shun-chan and the camera. "You said it, Shun-chan! And speaking of rotten, here's a word from our sponsor!"

The screen faded out and stayed blank for a few seconds, and when it faded back in, it revealed a bright and colorful scene that would make the most emotionally troubled person cheer up. Sawamura gracefully slid onto said scene. He looked around for a few seconds, then shielded his mouth with his hand and whispered, "Psst, It-chan!"

"What? Oh right!" came a voice from off the screen. A moment later, Ichihara came running in. "Um… boy, I sure am thirsty." It was obvious he hadn't rehearsed at all because he was carrying the script and reading off it.

"You don't SAY!" said Sawamura enthusiastically. "I believe I have JUST what you need!"

"Really?" said Ichihara with a fake gasp. "Do tell!"

Sawamura snapped his fingers, and the scene turned into this little CG animation of fruits being squashed and poured into bottles with the NICE SAWA logo on them as some announcer lady babbled in the background about NICE SAWA being made of high quality products in a variety of exciting flavors while being incredibly healthy for good measure.

"OH. WOW." Said Ichihara as the scene turned back to him and Sawamura who had in the meantime obtained a bottle of NICE SAWA each. "This is… the best drink ever!"

"You can say that again!" said Sawamura. "NICE SAWA! A REFRESHING BEVERAGE FOR ALL OCCASIONS!"

"NICE SAWA IS THE BEST DRINK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!" Daichi bellowed as he came running onto the stage, waving his own bottle of NICE SAWA around crazily.

"Daichi?!" said Sawamura, looking confused.

"That wasn't part of the script!" Ichihara roar-whispered in Daichi's direction.

Daichi gasped and smacked the sides of his head as his eyes started swelling with tears. "I'M SORRY!!" he bellowed. "WHY CAN'T I FOLLOW THE SCRIPT LIKE A NORMAL WELL BEHAVED PERSON?! I ONLY CARE ABOUT MYSELF AND MY OWN NEEDS! MY HEART IS DIRTY!!!!!!!" He proceeded to dramatically storm off the stage.

Ichihara and Sawamura looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds.

"So uhh… NICE SAWA…" Ichihara tried.

"So… So good that it's worth ruining commercials for!" Sawamura concluded. "Hey, that works," he added under his breath.

Sawamura and Ichihara high-fived as the screen faded out.

It faded back into the living room of the Abe residence! All four of the characters present were sitting in the couch, looking all business-like.

"Ah, welcome back to our show!" said Shu-chan.

"We're in the middle of… solving Shun-chan's problem by… TALKING!" Mihashi announced.

"So far it's working pretty well!" Shu-chan informed everyone. The camera moved over to focus on the Abe brothers.

"So… I'm really sorry!" Shun-chan sniffled. "I didn't do it on purpose! I'll never touch your personal belongings without your permission ever again, and I'll work hard mowing lawns and doing dishes for old ladies until I'll be able to afford a new helmet for you!"

After hearing this moving speech, Abe immediately lightened up. "Well if you say so, dear brother!" he said. "Since you've learned your lesson, I forgive you!"

Shu-chan clapped his hands together. "All's well that ends well! Now who's up for some NICE SAWA?"

"ME!!!!!!!!!!!" bellowed everyone present as they all joined hands and skipped off.

A quick screen-fading later, in the clubhouse… Renren and Shu-chan were back in the couch with their own refreshing glasses of NICE SAWA.

"So what did we learn in THIS episode, Renren?" Shu-chan asked.

"Talking solves EVERYTHING!" Renren piped. "Also, don't touch other people's belongings without their permission! If you break something, make sure you tell the owner of said thing the truth! Also…"

"NICE SAWA IS THE BEST DRINK IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!" both Renren and Shu-chan bellowed as they faded out and the credits started rolling.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

Sawamura and Ichihara were sitting around in these extremely expensive-looking chairs, flipping through a big pile of cash each.

"Frankly, this episode disgusted me," Hanai announced.

"You wanna come say that to my face?!" Kano rolled up his sleeves.

"I'm JUST SAYING that I didn't expect your show to become this… commercialistic!" Hanai explained. "Sponsors? I mean, what the fudge, man?"

"Hey!" came the voice of Ichihara from over in the expensive chairs. "What if we told you we're going to donate all this cash to starving baseball players in Luxembourg?"

"You are…?" said Hanai.

"Nope!" said Sawamura and Ichihara. They high-fived and started laughing like dorks.

"Personally, I think the whole sponsor thing is a great idea!" Abe announced, probably just to defend Mihashi. "It never hurts to try new things, you know, and if it doesn't work out, who's stopping them from kicking the Sakitama people off the show?"

"…I guess," said Hanai, looking defeated.

"Speaking of trying out new things, I think this show strictly needs an announcer!" Tajima declared. He cleared his throat. "WILL THE SPONSORS GET TO STAY ON THE SHOW? WHAT WILL RENREN AND SHU-CHAN HELP OUT WITH NEXT? WILL THE STARVING BASEBALL PLAYERS IN LUXEMBOURG EVER GET THE SUPPORT THEY NEED?! FIND OUT IN NEXT EPISODE OF RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES!!!"

The end FOR REAL!


End file.
